I want to let all of my readers know that if I suddenly stop posting and updating this site, there is a chance that I’ve been arrested.

No, I didn’t steal anything. I didn’t embezzle money. I didn’t even try to sell one of my body parts on the black market (although I could probably get a pretty penny for my Like-New Liver. I don’t drink alcohol, so I don’t need it, right? Right… I may want to consult a doctor on this one). Those things are all illegal today, and if I had done any of them, I probably wouldn’t be writing this post unless my jail cell were equipped with WiFi.

I’m actually not a criminal. Yet.

It all depends on what happens with this new jobs bill. I will admit, there are some things I like about the American Jobs Act. The payroll tax cuts were a good idea last year and they are a better idea this year (increasing the tax cut); it will put more money in the pockets of working Americans who can spend or invest the money however they choose.

There are also some things I don’t like about this bill. Paying companies to hire workers? Either companies will be paid to do something they were going to do anyway, or they will be incentivized to do something they don’t need to do. This is social engineering at its worst. However, it’s not my least favorite part of the bill. At least this part wouldn’t make me a criminal.

Part of this legislation (which he conveniently failed to mention when he gave his speech about the bill) would make it illegal for companies to discriminate against workers who are unemployed. As you may have heard, I wouldn’t hire long term unemployed people if I owned a business.

Well aren’t I just a regular ol’ John Gotti.

This Will Definitely Create Jobs in One Sector

If the American Jobs Act is passed in its current stage, it will become illegal for a company to refuse to hire someone because a person is currently unemployed. If any unemployed person feels he has been discriminated against because of his employment status, he has the right to sue the company that didn’t hire him.

I can practically feel the drool coming out of the mouths of lawyers across the country.

This will definitely create jobs in the law sector. An unemployed person goes into an interview and doesn’t get the position. CALL A LAWYER! We can’t tolerate this blatant discrimination! Another unemployed person applies for a job and doesn’t receive an interview. CALL A LAWYER! How dare a company refuse to interview an unemployed candidate!

hire a lazy man

There will be tons of lawyers doing all kinds of business. Unemployed people will be suing companies left and right. Companies will be hiring lawyers to defend themselves. What a great job stimulus!

But wait.

Companies Will Stop Hiring. Period.

If I owned a company and this law were passed, I would immediately take the “help wanted” sign out of my window. The last thing I want is to get sued, and simply posting a job opening would leave me completely vulnerable to lawsuits.

Pretend I own and engineering firm and I need an electrical engineer. I could post a job and get an application from an unemployed person who didn’t even finish high school, let alone any engineering courses. I refuse to interview him and guess what: he sues me. Would he win? I sure hope not. But I still have to hire a lawyer and spend time preparing and defending my case against this jerk.

Will that happen often? Probably not. Let’s look at a more realistic scenario.

Let’s pretend someone applies who is actually somewhat qualified for the position, but I don’t think his personality fits well with my company, or any number of other reasons I wouldn’t want to hire him.

Or better yet; I’m truly concerned that his engineering skills may have deteriorated over the two years he hasn’t been working. I need a highly competent engineer to come in and be productive from day one. There’s a chance he could work out, but I really don’t want to make a bad hiring decision so I err on the side of caution and don’t hire him.

Now imagine this guy gets a lawyer and sues me. I have to hire a bad ass Johnny Cochran type lawyer and spend thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours preparing a case. And honestly, if the American Jobs Act is passed with this provision, I think I would end up losing this case even with a great lawyer.

That’s why if this bill gets passed, I won’t just be discriminating against long term unemployed workers; I’ll have to discriminate against everyone, employed or unemployed. If I ever have a business and this law is in effect, I WILL NOT POST A JOB OPENING. The possibility of getting sued would be too onerous.

And you know what? I bet a lot of existing businesses will do the exact same thing.

Way to create jobs Barack!