Urban Meyer, the head coach of the Florida Gators football team, has decided to retire at the borderline-senile age of 46.

Take my ball and go homeMeyer won two national championships. His tenure at Florida was just as much a success for his bank account as it was for the University of Florida; he made $4 million a year for the past two seasons. He will also get a $1 million retention bonus on January 31st of next year as a sign of goodwill from the university.

Meyer cited his family as the main reason he is retiring. He has two daughters who are athletes in college and high school, and he has never seen them play. He wants to focus on being a husband and father.

So, this guy has (at least he should have) a few million in the bank and has decided to retire at 46 years old to spend time with his wife and kids. He claims he was just too busy with his job to be good at being a dad.

Philosophical Segue

I call BS. This reminds me of all the guys I’ve known who have said, “I’m too busy to have a girlfriend.” I’m pretty sure every guy says that until he finds the right girl. Then all of a sudden his schedule clears up and he’s ready for a girlfriend.

I can’t imagine being 46 years old and spending all day, every day with your significant other (or any one person for that matter). He doesn’t want to be retired. He wants to be retired from coaching football at Florida.

Coaching college football is a ridiculously demanding job for about five months of the year. There’s not much a D-1 coach can do other than coach football during the season. However, he gets about seven months of the year where all he has to do is recruit a few players, coach a few spring practices, and spend tons of time with his family.

Meyer thinks he has it bad as a football coach. Now imagine if he were active duty military personnel. He’d literally be halfway across the world from his family for about 50 weeks of the year. Coaching football doesn’t sound so prohibitive now, does it?

Maybe he wants to coach somewhere else. Maybe he wants to be a motivational speaker. Maybe he wants to be the lead in a community theater production of Les Miserables. I don’t know.

He may say all the nicest things in the world about the University of Florida, but I do know there’s something about it that makes him want to leave (the absence of Tim Tebow?).

Retire at 46?

This raises the question; if you had millions in the bank, would you retire at 46? I don’t mean retire where you go work another job. I’m talking where you spend the rest of your life pursuing hobbies and spending time with family.

I can assure you with 99.9% confidence that I would not even consider retiring at 46. I don’t have enough hobbies that I could fill half a lifetime with interesting things to do. I think showing up to work every day is a healthy and natural part of life, and I’d hate to be without it.

What about you? Would you retire at 46?