When you are facing a separation or divorce from your spouse, it’s understandable for you to feel overwhelmed. Facing the end of a relationship that was once a source of joy will bring up many conflicting emotions. However, if you and your spouse have children together, you’ll also have to navigate the new territory of single parenthood.
Contact a Family Law Attorney
The first few months after separation may be hectic. Your children should face as few changes as possible, so it’s typically better for your children to stay primarily in the home where they currently live. Contact a family lawyer and draft a separation agreement as soon as possible. The separation agreement could have details about where the children will live and will also provide financial details.
Contacting a family law attorney will also help you to learn about the laws in your state regarding divorce. For example, in Maryland, the decision about where your children will live will be made by the court. It will be up to the court to determine how much time the children will spend with each parent. Your family law attorney will be able to tell you how best to present your case to the court.
Communicate With Your Children
Both spouses should sit down with the children as soon as possible and explain what is happening. It’s important to let your children know you will both always love them. Younger children may feel the separation is their fault, so it’s important to let them know the divorce isn’t their fault.
As part of composing the separation agreement, it is sometimes helpful to see if both spouses can agree on the divorce terms – including custody and financial matters – before the case goes to court. This agreement can help both of you make financial plans. If the basics of those arrangements can be communicated to the children, it can assist them in adjusting to their new way of life.
Choose Healthy Habits
Planning healthy, nutritious meals will help everyone feel physically better and make it more likely for your children to thrive. In addition to providing healthy meals, you and your children should participate in regular activity and exercise. Making an appointment for an annual medical checkup is also essential. These routines – continued from their former habits as much as possible – may allow them to see the separation as less traumatic.
Your children’s oral health is as important as their physical health. Oral health experts say children should see an orthodontist by the time they reach age 7. Seven is when a child’s permanent molars and incisors will erupt. In evaluating their teeth, the orthodontist can determine if your child has a crossbite, tooth crowding, or other conditions that braces should correct.
Cheer Them On at Their Activities
If your children are involved in a sport or other activity, encourage them to continue those activities. If visiting the other spouse interferes with their activity schedule, you might request the other spouse bring them to rehearsal that day. If your child participates in a sports match or performance, both parents should come to cheer for the children whenever possible – even if they sit in opposite parts of the stadium.
Some of your children’s activities may help them in their quest for health. For example, swimming is a healthy exercise for children of all body types. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 35% of children between seven and 17 swim at least six times a year, while only 15% of adults are regular swimmers.
While it may seem like everything in your life has changed due to the divorce process, it hasn’t. Children will want to be reassured your love for them hasn’t changed. By keeping calm and working through your feelings, you and your children will survive and learn to navigate the world of single parenthood.