Emotional manipulation can happen at work, among family, with your friendships, and in your romantic relationships. No matter what, you need to be careful to know a master manipulator when you see one. They’ll use the worst manipulation tactics to make you think and feel a certain way.
Whether you’re forced to believe you’re crazy or get a ton of mixed messages, a good manipulator knows how to trick you. Here are 14 techniques used by the best liars to shape your perceptions.
1. Gaslighting
Have you seen the movie The Invisible Man? This 2020 horror remake showed gaslighting in its truest form. This is one of the worst manipulation techniques, and sadly, also one of the most common. It involves making someone doubt their own memory and sanity by deliberately twisting the facts. Over time, the constant doubt seeds uncertainty and anxiety in the victim.
2. Love Bombing
Love bombing is sneaky. It seems like a cute romance, but underneath the flowers is a clever manipulation tactic in disguise. Master manipulators use love bombing to gain a person’s trust and loyalty through overt affection and praise. Once hooked, the victim finds it difficult to see the manipulator’s true intentions because they think it’s pure love.
3. Projection
Some people find it difficult to take ownership of their faults or wrongdoings. Through projection, they accuse others of their own undesirable behaviors. By projecting their own flaws onto someone else, manipulators divert attention and blame away from themselves. In turn, the victim feels guilty and doubtful over who’s in the wrong.
4. Triangulation
Three’s a crowd. Some manipulators will bring a third person into an argument or conversation in order to have another witness or advocate. The manipulator may compare you unfavorably to this third person, or ask the third person to agree with them, usually without giving them all the facts.
5. Fearmongering
Be careful around someone who constantly feeds into paranoia. They are using fearmongering, one of the worst manipulation tactics. By spreading fear or false threats, manipulators keep others on edge. As a result, the victim is more likely to seek guidance and reassurance from the manipulator.
6. Silent Treatment
Does your love interest often give you the cold shoulder? This passive-aggressive behavior is better known as the silent treatment. Withholding communication can make the victim feel desperate to restore contact, giving the manipulator control over the emotional tone of the relationship.
7. Lying by Omission
Manipulators don’t even have to speak a word to still be liars. They often deceive by withholding significant facts that would lead an individual to form a different conclusion. This tactic allows the manipulator to maintain a façade of honesty while hiding their true intentions.
8. Playing the Victim
Break out the world’s smallest violin. Some manipulators make it seem like they’re the victim who deserves sympathy. By putting themselves in this role, they are attempting to justify their actions and make others feel bad.
9. Excessive Flattery
We all love a good compliment. However, using excessive flattery is a common way for manipulators to disarm others. Right when the victim is feeling good about themselves, the manipulator will turn the compliment around or hold it against the person to prove a point.
10. Isolation
Manipulation tactics can quickly turn into abusive behavior. For instance, some manipulators isolate their target from friends and family to gain more control over them. If you are being deliberately cut off from your loved ones, it’s not okay. Reach out for help.
11. Selective Memory
Memory is fickle. Master manipulators use this to their advantage to make it seem like something happened a certain way when it did not. They may also exaggerate details to skew their victim’s perceptions to their advantage.
12. Feigned Ignorance or Confusion
There are many frustrating manipulation tactics you may come across. One of the most frustrating is when a person pretends not to understand or remember events. By doing this, manipulators avoid responsibility and accountability.
13. Piling on the Red Tape
As mentioned, manipulation can happen in all areas of your life. Be on alert for this tactic in the workplace. If your boss is bogging you down with unnecessary procedures, paperwork, or bureaucratic hurdles, they’re piling on the red tape. By being busy, you’ll be too exhausted to fight back against their manipulation.
14. Moving the Goalposts
You’re destined for failure if you’re with someone who’s constantly moving the goalposts. By changing rules or expectations, manipulators keep their targets off balance and perpetually try to meet their new demands. This can be an exhausting and never-ending cycle.
Avoid the Toxicity
Life is too short to spend time with people who use manipulation tactics. Avoid these people at all costs, and instead, surround yourself with positive influences. Be with people who make you feel good and like your best self. You deserve nothing less!
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