When it comes to our romantic relationships, we often see ourselves as the protagonist—the hero. However, without even realizing it, we might actually be playing the role of the antagonist. You might be the cause of toxic behavior, and it all comes down to looking for a few eye-opening signs that you’re the villain in your love story.
Think about how you speak to and treat your partner. Here are 10 signs that suggest you may be becoming the villain and the cause of toxic behavior.
1. You’re Often Controlling
If you find yourself needing to control where your partner goes, whom they’re with, or what they do, it’s a significant red flag. Healthy relationships are built on trust and respect, not control and surveillance.
2. You Play the Blame Game
Do you find yourself constantly blaming your partner for everything that goes wrong? This is unfair to your partner and a surefire sign that you’re becoming the villain. Good relationships are built on trust and ownership of your mistakes. Nobody is perfect.
3. You Use Guilt as a Weapon
Manipulating your partner’s feelings by making them feel guilty about their actions, choices, or desires is definitely not okay and one of the signs that you’re the villain in your love story. By using guilt as a weapon, you’re emotionally manipulating your partner and causing a toxic relationship environment.
4. You Don’t Communicate Effectively
Communication is key. Your relationship will not thrive or get stronger if you can’t talk with your partner. If you’re withholding information, ignoring their wishes, or consistently misinterpreting what’s being said out of anger or spite, these are signs that you’re the villain in your love story.
5. You’re Dismissive of Their Feelings
Minimizing or dismissing your partner’s feelings can make them feel undervalued and misunderstood. You spend more time with your romantic interest than almost anyone else. There needs to be mutual respect and understanding.
6. You Keep Score
A relationship is not a basketball game or a video game competition. There is no reason to keep score. If you constantly keep tabs of every little thing you do for each other, it may create a situate where love is transactional and a means to an end.
7. You’re Frequently Jealous
Trust is a must. While occasional jealousy can be natural, it should never get to the point where you’re accusing your partner of lying or second-guessing their every move. Think about why you feel jealous and discuss these feelings with your partner openly.
8. You Make Everything About Yourself
There’s no “me” in “relationship.” One of the signs that you’re the villain in your love story is that you turn everything around so it somehow reflects on you. A relationship involves more than one person, but if you’re always thinking about yourself, it’s hard not to have room in your heart and mind for someone else.
9. You Engage in Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the worst signs that you’re becoming the villain in your love story. Don’t assume your partner can read between the lines and read your mind about how you feel. Express how you feel openly and honestly and never resort to passive-aggressive behaviors like the silent treatment or backhanded compliments.
10. You Refuse to Compromise
It can’t always be your way or the highway. Your partner has their own wants and needs, and it’s unfair for you to disregard them. If you find it hard to meet your partner halfway, you may need to reconsider your role in your relationship.
Become the Hero
Be honest with yourself. Are you guilty of any of these behaviors? It’s not too late to make the change from the villain to the hero in your love story. Do the work and address these issues before they escalate and ruin your chances at love!