One makes many adjustments after a divorce, which is normal. One major change is learning to live alone. The most important thing after divorce is to start healing and then make incremental steps toward a new life. Here are a few tips you can embrace that’ll make this huge life change less uncomfortable.
1. Embrace the Silence
You need to embrace the sound of silence. Granted, the kids may still be around and making their fair share of noise, but your home will have a remarkable sense of silence. You might even find yourself missing the arguments you used to have with your ex.
Turn the silence into a productive exercise, such as spending time in meditation, prayer, or mindfulness. Embracing silence develops a part of your brain that helps with the grounding of rational thinking while mitigating the section involved in flight or fight. These silent reflection and meditation moments also replenish your cognitive resources, regulate brain cells, help manage internal conflicts, and relieve stress.
2. Develop New Routines
Since you were used to doing things with your spouse, look for other exercises to fill that vacuum. First, cut yourself some slack; yours isn’t the first marriage to end. According to Divorce.com, 25 to 39-year-olds make up 60% of all divorces. Gradually replace what you used to do with a new lifestyle. Start with exercise, spiritual practices, healthy eating habits, and regular rest. Consider taking on a new hobby or a task you find engaging, such as renovating your home.
In 2018, house improvements, according to Statista, cost Americans about $394 billion. As much as this is an expansive exercise, it’s a great way to use your time productively. Plan your day and avoid procrastination and the feeling of getting stuck. List what you need to do daily and ensure you do it. This could be shopping, making the bed, or cleaning your home. Routines help make every day distinct from the other. They support your biorhythms and are greeting at structuring your day.
3. Be Easy On Yourself
Feel what you need to feel during this separation. A divorce is a huge change, and you need to allow yourself to mourn the loss of a marriage. This is completely normal. Take some time off, take a walk, grab an ice cream, jot things down, cry if you need to. Allow yourself to feel the emotion of loss, then work your way to healing. Sleep, reset, and move forward.
Celebrate small milestones like living alone for a week. You get to process things better as you tuck away your former life in preparation for the next phase of your life. Make a pact with yourself to leave the past behind. If you catch yourself reverting to past feelings, pause, breathe, and remember why you’re here in the first place.
4. Take Care of Yourself
Pamper yourself, go to the gym, and have a nice home-cooked meal or a massage once in a while. Try to look good even when you don’t feel it. Don’t neglect yourself. If you feel insecure now that your spouse is gone, consider getting a firearm and learning how to use it properly. The state of Colorado, according to USCCA, allows you to have a firearm if you’re 21 years and above.
Try new hobbies and pastimes, such as joining a book club, gardening, exploring a new sport, or traveling. You could also take on hiking and whipping up new dishes. Upgrade your professional skills to become a better worker. The list of new things you can add to your life is endless.
Another art of self-care is having a support network around you. This can be friends, support groups, therapists, or a professional coach. Being around like-minded people can make moving on after divorce easier. It’s all part of self-care.
Over time, living alone does get easier. Keep learning, keep growing, and feel what you need to feel, then push aside all feelings of loss and step into the next phase of your life.