This is the latest installment in my wedding series, and this entry is going to really appease all of the people who are angry about me spending $20k on my wedding. And I know most of you have already read it, but if you think $20k is too much I will just direct you to this response.
I’ve already decided to set a total budget of $20,000 for the wedding, and we’ve already covered the $3,195 for the photographer. Next up: ceremony musicians.
Tag and I are both Catholic, and we will be having a full Catholic mass for our wedding. That means we need a pianist, one or more vocalists, and potentially some additional instrumentalists if we so choose. Musicians are not cheap and we could end up spending big money on all this stuff. So what’s the damage?
We’re Spending $0 on Musicians (not including tip)
One of the activities that Tag and I are involved in is the music ministry at our church. Every Sunday we show up to church an hour early to rehearse the songs, and then we are part of the choir as we lead the congregation in worship.
We also have friends who sing in the choir with us every week. We have officially asked one of them to sing already, but I’m thinking about asking a few more to join. The more the merrier as far as I’m concerned! Especially since these are our friends and they are happy to sing at our wedding.
We haven’t decided on the music, but we’re hoping to do something contemporary. If that’s the case, we have a guitarist, a bassist, and a drummer who we can ask. I’m pretty sure a lot of them would do it as a favor for us.
What About the Tip?
So in theory we are getting free musicians. In reality, we’ll probably pay just a little less than anyone else would. Our friends are offering their services free of charge, but we are going to tip them, and we’ll tip them a heck of a lot more than a normal tip since they aren’t charging us anything.
We are trying to save money wherever possible, but we also value our friend’s time and talent. If they weren’t playing the music then they would be sitting in the pews with all our other friends and family, so we are definitely going to tip them well for being willing to “work” at our wedding.
To My Married Readers: Did you have friends help you with parts of your wedding like the music? Did you give them a nice tip?
Kevin McKee is an entrepreneur, IT guru, and personal finance leader. In addition to his writing, Kevin is the head of IT at Buildingstars, Co-Founder of Padmission, and organizer of Laravel STL. He is also the creator of www.contributetoopensource.com. When he’s not working, Kevin enjoys podcasting about movies and spending time with his wife and four children.
I too will be spending $0 on ceremony musicians by having a friend do it. I will also be spending $0 on the officiant and the photographer, who are both friends (though I’m sure we’ll give all of them a little something to say thank you). It’s looking like we’re not going to get around paying for the reception music, since we want all of our friends to enjoy the reception rather than working through it. We’re already spending a crap ton of money on the venue and food, so I’m looking for savings wherever else I can get it!
I a Muslim and a Muslim marriage wedding much much cheaper to cost. We not have music. Also no cost for food because we all bring it to ceremony for afterwards group party. Also no “hony moon” cost because new wife give husband very happy delight for 12 days after wedding. New married couple stay at home for two weeks and family members bring food for new wife to cook for husband. Wife provide for every need of husband for 12 days and then have two day rest before come out of house. If wife has unclean time during 2 weeks, then new wife and husband couple have extra week for time to clean. Amercans have high cost weddings but my people save money because wedding is NOT about wife. Wedding and marriage purpose is for HUSBAND because he is the master and smarter than wife. Wife is there for HUSBANDS needs…American wedding is all around wife, and not husband. This also is why many divorce who do not follow Allah. I hope you have beautiful wife who makes for good skill. Last, Advice for you: Do not give wife all that she desires OR she will not be good wife…she must know that your wishes become first in order for her life…This is the blueplan for good marriage in life. Teach your wife well my son!
Ummmm…ok, I don’t even know where to start, Abdul. Look, I am a very open-minded liberal individual, but I have some serious issues with some of the ideas you presented. Like I said, I am an extremely tolerant person, but you have caused me to be torn between my dedication to feminist liberation, and my commitment to supporting muslims who are not in favor of America imposing its will on the world. In an adult, consensual, relationship, there should NEVER be one partner who is obligated to serve the other. I don’t know how you can treat your wife the way you do…I mean, it’s 2013 isn’t it?!?!?!? If I ever decide to get married, I will never allow myself to be degraded by serving my husband in the way that you implied your wife serves you. My partner will treat me with respect and honor my wishes. You disappoint me, Abdul.
I understand that people all different across all the world and in Amerika. You say that adult married people should respect each other married parter, but what about when man is much older than new wife? When I marry, I am 28 years age and my first wife was 16 only. I already own 2 businessess and have a car for wife to drive when we marry. I have much greater wisdom and I am much older, so I think it crazy that man like me should respect wife when got married. Wife is meant to for happiness of HUSBAND, and for to make childern for man to enjoy with long life. Happy husband equal/makes a happy wife with pride in her family.
We know some people who are great musicians. One of my friends is a well traveled solo violinist (much like your pianist). So he played a lot of the music while people where sitting. We are also friends who an excellent bagpiper (yes it is possible) so he played “Highland Cathedral” while my wife walked down the aisle.
We then had some friends who play in a regional Celtic Rock band play our reception. We paid them a small fee, but they ended up buying all our drinks at their next gig because the manager at the venue we choose for our reception booked them for a couple more shows.
We had a few friends help out with our wedding. One friend made the cake and another friend brought his band along for the music. We paid them a small fee but much less than what a band would normally cost! It adds a more personal touch as well, having friends helping out with key parts of a wedding.